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Forrrreaallll

As Long As They Are Watching, You Are Doing Something Right

8) Sunglasses coming soon by Cings&Queens

Log Out Challenge

I’m actually enjoying this so far :} It’s giving me a chance to write more than before and actually focus on the things I need to get done. While also blogging more than usual, which is what I like best anyways. 

I have recognized my faults and that’s the worst part about being alone in this period of challenging myself. Because it is me I need to work on, it is me I need to focus on, and I pushed away a lot of people who attempted to be close to me in the mean time. So for that I feel guilty, irrational, and regretful. I don’t want anger to have that much pull on my actions, but it is my quickest defense mechanism. If I get angry, it’s the easiest way to prevent others from seeing what’s really going on in my head. If you don’t know, you can’t hurt me. If I get mad, I can run away. It’s all about the escape. Because I live in fear of someone actually staying. Because I know how truly hard it is to live with myself, and sometimes I don’t think I could expect someone else to put me on their plate. 

(Source: dreenaswriting)

It’s not that I could never find another to replace you, I just really really didn’t want too ~

www.dreenasworld.com

(Source: dreenaswriting)

Social Network Sickness.

Log out of Facebook and Twitter for 10 days. It’s 11:53 on Thursday 1.12.2012 ~ First morning without logging in… Ugh its such a habit I don’t even barely realize I’m doing it. It’s 9am and this is like the fifth urg I’ve had to fucking check it… Ugh

Woke up this morning to a text that literally made my day: “You gotta be as enthusiastic as I am, I miss seein your beautiful self” 9:01

I want to log in so bad. 10:38 11:07- MaryJane respect: When you are in the passenger seat and you have the bowl, grinder, and weed all in your lap. The weed belongs to the driver. Waiting for the word to get it out, then also waiting for the word to pack it. Then handing it to the driver to hit first. Respect :)

8:27pm day 1 Damn this sucks hahaha I feel like a true addict its retarded. I almost typed Facebook.com on my phone earlier without even realizing I was doing it! Kinda pathetic that I have to do this but I really have no other choice if I wanna get over the boy situation. How pathetic the relationship that means the most to me to hold onto has dwindled down to Facebook and Twitter…. What a fucking ass hole. I sit around spending so much time thinking what I could’ve done different or how I could make things better and its just not healthy. He doesn’t deserve me to care that much nor does he want me too. I’m not wrong for being sensitive and I’m not wrong for not being how I am about the situation. He’s just not right for me right now. I’m right for me. And I can’t handle him in my life without hearing I’m sorry first.

3:18pm I wanna log in soooo bad :’(

5:51pm Bust it, Bust it ~ Bust it like you can’t afford a car You a star, you look in the mirror, you know who you are, right? Cool, take it low, take it way lower than that I fly private when I go, ain’t no layover on that Yeah I made it to the top, took a seat, still seated mane I’m in a stadium in DC still tippin mane She couldn’t pay tuition 5 times, still strippin I just throw a couple bills and she’ll have a pair of heels Oh no, there I go, magic trickin on your ass Throwing every president except for Nixon on your ass Make you rich, I feel like I should make commission on your ass Wonder what you’d ever do if I went missing on your ass.. This made.me think of Monica! nd I’m so saddd because I miss her and that song she jaaams to and I love it <3 and she’s not answering my texts and I’m banned from fbook and Twitter :’( ugh so annoying that this is haaapppening haha but I’m literally like going through rehab.

Social Network Sickness. Today I relapsed a little but it was fun…. :} My wonderful best friend (Beautiful) danielle wanted to know about Twitter sooo I had an excuse to go on, on someone elllssse’s phone ;) So technically I didn’t log on. Wasn’t my name, wasn’t my email, wasn’t my phone 8) #YeahhhhhBuddy.. Hehe and I even tweeted like 5-10 times for her just to showww her the ropes u know? Ugh it was great. :) Good and Bad. bad and good. Welcome to my life lol

Growing Up Psychic

“I always felt bad for doing that, but since I never meant to do it in the first place, I couldn’t see how I could stop myself from doing it again.”